Here is an interesting question. Jenni and I both want to adopt but we are unsure as to when to. We thought to adopt before we have any children of our own but that got me thinking that I don't think I would be ready to adopt first. We wanted to adopt first so that they do not think they were second or less important but call me selfish or stupid but I don't think I could be ready as a parrent and emotionaly to care for that child with out my genteics kicking in and jumpstarting that parrental instinct. All of this is really unknown to me. had any one here adopted and can any of you give me some advice?

Having a child of my own, & a stepson, I can say that if I were to adopt, I think I would care for the adopted child as much as my own child. I love my stepson, just as much as my own son & would do anything for him.
Ask Kajira, I’ve been through hell over that boy & I don’t regret any of it. I love my stepson, just as much as my son, just in a different way. Either way, make sure you’re prepared for a TOTAL life change!
Adoption, or biological first, you will have to decide for yourself. I feel like that’s personal, either way, I’m sure you’ll both make great parents.
I’ll get back to you more later,

The love for a child is one you find within you. Whether it be from your loins or another, the moment they look at you, and you become their daddy.. all else becomes meaningless.

Do what you think is right, and the feelings will come.

Believe in the power of children to love unconditionally, and believe in your power to love them in the same way.

I've always said that I love all the children in my life with the same love that I have for my own child. I thought that to be true until I adopted Isabella. She is not from my body but I truly believe she is from my soul and was sent here to be my daughter. I love her with the same part of my heart that I love my own son with. Adoption is what you make of it.

Thank you for posting this Sightful, this is a great topic!

Since it is now fairly apparent that it is unlikely I will get to have a child of my own, I am considering adoption.

What are your thoughts on in country vs. out country?

Once I was in the metro and I saw this 50+ years couple. They seemed european and barely speak spanish. They were with three little colombian girls and they were calling them daddy and mommy. I thought it was the greatest thing ever.

I like the idea of adoption in general. I think it's a great act of generosity to give that kind of love to someone not blood related to one.

Bry, in the end it doesn't matter if people adopt "in country" or "out country". Though foreign kids are hip. I would pick Icelandic! or a kid from Greenland.

I’d got to Iraq, if that were possible, to adopt. I’d want a baby, or child from the most poverty stricken, upset country there is, & right now, the USA is making sure that Iraq is that way.

Love and family is love and family no matter how it comes about. If someone really has the desire to have a family, that love will be there, if the children are biological or not. You shouldn't worry about searching for that "parental instinct"...if you're thinking about adopting and having children then I think you already have it:)

As for out of country adoptions, a child in need of a loving home is the same no matter where you go. I give a thumbs to either decision.

*BUMP*
Working at the store & seeing all the babies (some who are treated like burdens more-so than blessings) I have realized that I want to do a private adoption one day. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to have another pregnancy, but I definitely want another child.

I imagine it going something like this: After I finish school & get settled wherever I choose to settle, I want to put our feelers for a pregnant girl/woman looking to find an adoptive family for their child. If Bren & all the other members of my immediate family are in agreement, I will look until I find the right one & make arrangements for a private adoption. I know that many adoption agencies wouldn’t give me a second look because of my medical problems. So I think this is the only way I could do it, unless I went international. Which I imagine is expensive.

I’m not sure what is involved with international adoption, but I know a lady who teaches with my sister & her family adopted a little girl from Russia, the little girl was almost a year old when she came here & she is beautiful! I know that her parents never actually left the country until it was time to bring the child home, which tells me that you could probably arrange the adoption somehow before hand.

If this is possible, I would like to do this, but I guess we’ll see when the time comes. All I know for sure right now, is that I need to have another baby/child in my life.